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President Trump’s $16 Billion Farm Bailout Has Shown THIS Farmer Why Socialism Rocks!!

Those of us who toil in the fields of the American farm have been the backbone of this country since its founding. Unlike my fellow agri-millionaires, I came to farming recently. What some cynics might call an accident, I call divine providence as the horse corn we fed our backyard squirrels found its way into […]

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Chop Wood, Have Sex

Thursday is the most important, manufactured holiday of the year: Valentine’s Day. Which means, on Wednesday, the Hallmark aisle at Kroger’s will be clogged with panicked men searching for just the right, over-priced card to show how much they love their spouse. And mother. This seems like the perfect time to reflect on a sad, […]

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Grace Intervenes

On September 14, 2017, my wife Kate was in a freak accident in the wilds of Northern Wisconsin. She broke her back in two places, broke her femur and suffered a serious concussion that occasionally bares its teeth a year and a half later. She was fortunate, as the results of the accident could have […]

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Birthday Reflections

“The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.”                                                                                                            Vladimir Nabokov I am writing this on the morning of my 61st birthday. As I have done for nearly two decades, I began my day with 30 […]

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You Dirty Cossack Bastard!

Today is Orthodox Christmas. And yes, you may wish me a Merry Christmas. Also, feel free to send gifts. Cash or athletic socks are the traditional Orthodox Christmas gifts. I was raised in the Christian Orthodox faith. My mother was Ukrainian Orthodox and my father Russian Orthodox. Essentially the same religion, except for the fact […]

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Our Year of Living Heroically

In his 1974 Pulitzer Prize-winning book “The Denial of Death” cultural anthropologist Earnest Becker said: “This is the terror: to have emerged from nothing, to have a name, consciousness of self, deep inner feelings, an excruciating inner yearning for life and self-expression – and with all this yet to die. It seems like a hoax. . […]

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What Would Hemingway Do?

I recently learned that I  need to build an author’s platform. At first, this was a frightening thought because I’m terrible with my hands and my wife is reluctant to let me use her power tools. Fortunately, I soon learned that “platform” is used metaphorically, whatever metaphorically means Everyone and their third cousin twice removed, […]